For the second time this year, the man that I love dearly has decided that for right now we are better apart than together. Both us of have been battling with depression for a while now, and because of that, we have lost sight of who we are. I depended too much on him for my own happiness, and that burden has taken a toll on us. I do hope that this isn't the end for us. When things were good, they were great. He is worth the fight, but if we want this to work out, we have to find ourselves. This blog is my journey to find out who I am, and how I can be happy for myself.
Ever since I divorced at the young age of 19, I used men and sex to fill whatever void was missing in my life. I put dating and trying to find the next Mr. Right ahead of just about everything in my life, including my kids. I'm ready to break this cycle and figure out how to be happy on my own. I think he truly is my Mr. Right, but because I need him to be happy, it just can't work out right now. I feel so devastated. I feel sick to my stomach. I feel lost. But I will find my way again, and I won't use men and sex to light my path. I'm taking a vow a celibacy until I figure out how to be happy again. I hope that one day, he and I can give it one last shot. I don't know what I'm doing, but here goes nothing.
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